Sleep is a wonderful thing. And today, I got plenty of it. I need to go to bed pretty soon b/c its starting to get late. But I'm so excited and relieved that my mind is too active.

All the reading from the books from the public library and the information and support on this site has helped me tremendously in getting on the right financial track. For the past three hours, I've been going over my investments, IRA's and 403b's with DH; comparing what he knows about investments and what I've learned on my own.

First, I am fantastically pleased to learn that I have a whole lot more money stashed than I thought. I'd never sat down and totaled my assest. I'd always focused on my debt. Second, it all seems to be on the right track. My Roth and an Index Fund arent doing super well, but neither is the market in general. Things are still recoverying from 2002/2003?

After getting the numbers out of the way, we talked about the big picture - what is our general state of the union, how hard do we have to work, how much longer will we have to work and just what will we do when we decide to retire. Oh how very refreshing it is. It seems that we are on the right track and I should pretty much keep on doing what I've been doing - minus the cc's, meaning pay them off and dont ever go there again. If I start investing, which I should be doing right now, and the market does averagely well, I would still be getting ahead because right now the rates on the cc's are lower than the rate of return on my mutual funds.

I feel such a sense of relief. I feel like a weight has been lifted. I'm the first one in my family to get into this. I'm turning the corner on some very deeply held, and very unhealthy attitudes toward money. It's all new territory for me. And I'm pretty much speechless. Truly.

Now I just need some time for the interest to acrue....

I believe I will sleep very well tonight. Now I am even more motivated not to spend money on things I dont need. A woman with a mission I am.

Yesterday was one of those days where they mind and body were not fully engaged. I dont think I should have left the house. But venture out I did.

My skin has been reacting to some product that I'm using since January. I've narrowed it down to my soap, but didnt really want to admit that it was the soap, because it has worked well in the past and its natural and I can find it for a good price. The doctor gave me a cream, but it has so much sulfer, that when I use it, it smells like I am standing at the gates of hell. So I decide to go out and look for an alternative facial cleanser. It was also time to get some new makeup as I havent really purchased in a couple of years and I'm very tired of what I'm currently using.

I've been doing some research on the web to see what the major labels are offering and to get an idea for the prices, etc. There were a couple of things that looked good; nothing stellar, but work checking out.

First stop was the mall. I havent been to the mall in months, possibly longer; not sure as I havent been counting. Its not really on my radar anymore. I went into the one department store that has four cosmetics counters (small town, small mall) Just walking through the place made me feel very uncomfortable. I guess I have embraced voluntary simplicity more than I realized. I could quickly see how most of the merchanise would fulfill wants rather than needs.

As I looked around, all I saw were people with a gleam in their eye, bent on spending some cash and getting more stuff. More likely melting their plastic. The majority were already "designer labeled" from head to toe as they walked through the racks of clothing ooohing and aahing. It was like being surrounded by zombies. Is this one of the ways the mark of the beast will show itself? The mark of the designer? Individuality by looking like everyone else?

And the merchandise was typical mall fair - trendy, cheaply made, overpriced, throw it away by next year sort of stuff. It made me feel very old and out of touch.

I went to the counters and asked about the products I was looking for. No one seemed enthused or willing to really answer my questions. I couldnt help but wonder if it was because I was wearing jeans and a T-shirt? Didnt find what I was looking for. Settled on a face wash from Lauder that I used to use. $25 for 6.7 oz!!! I knew it would be high, but I also knew it worked and figured I would spurlge if it cleared up my face. I've suffered for six months now. Enough is enough.

I leave the mall feeling gross and a little disappointed that I spent so much. Next stop was Target. Here is where I sort of lost it. For some time now, I have been very focused when I go shopping. I have a list, I find the stuff and I get out. I spend less and just dont have the time to looks at stuff I probably wont buy. Well this was a fact finding mission, so I had to broaden my view of the scene and look around to determine what was available.

Within 10 minutes I was overwhelmed and ready to go home. ( I think I got dizzy at one point.) I was amazed at all the different ways producers are trying to get people to part with their money And so much of it is just foof. At the same time, I'm wondering "am I just getting realy old and dowdy?" "Oh dear, I've become a stick in the mud." But in the end, I really didnt care because early retirement will be mine!!!

With a bit of looking I found a face wash by Almay. 6.7 oz like the Lauder. It was $5.09 (on sale) rather than $25. (Relayed this whole thing to DH and he gasped when I told him the difference in price. He appreciates a good deal, but has no qualms about spending more to get the good stuff if it lasts longer and is a better deal in the long run.)

I've used the Almay twice now and already my skin feels better and looks better. Hope it takes 15 years off my face It does have mineral oil, which I'm not crazy about, but we shall see how it goes. For $5 its worth trying even if I have to pitch it if it doesnt work. The Lauder is going back tomorrow.

Later in the day went to Walgreens and Walmart to compare prices. Found out that I really had gotten a good deal at Target. Ended up leaving wallet at Walgreens. Discoved this only when I sat down at the computer to organize my finances. Had a minor freak out moment and after some calls, went to pick it up. (Even the extra running around to find out about prices on the Almay was disorienting and unnecesarry. I usually compare the info I have in my price book. But this was a new product, so I was going into it blind.)

At this point, I was not able to think in a linear fashion, no matter how hard I tried. Gave up and went into the kitchen to clean up and cook some things for the week ahead.

Overall, the day left me unsettled. But I was left wondering what is the world coming to? That really sounds like I'm getting old and havent kept up with the times for it to be such a shock to me. But once you see the things people will buy and keep themselves powerless by being perpetual consumers, its shocking.

The experiences of my day with the world of consumerism are in such stark contrast to the beliefs I have recetnly been cultivating about money. Yes, I've been indoctrinating myself with saving/investing/frugal living, etc from the 332.024 section of the library (a couple of things around the 650's are okay too - dymanics of the workplace, money and power, that sort of thing.) but its a means to an end. Maybe this surreal experience was a check in to show me how far along the whole process is its evolution? I'm still a little too jumbled to put it all together and come to a solid conclusion, though will think about it during the upcoming week. I would really just like to pass go and collect a hefty sum and be done with all of it.

On brighter notes - DH came home last night from helping his mom. He brought me some Mexican Coca Colas!!! I'm using one this morning for some caffeine therapy. I like living on the border.

Also, this morning, the cat that we adopted just two months ago is learning to fetch. She is such a dear. We believe she may have been abused because she cowers and runs away alot, but she is comig out of her shell and is very sweet.

These are some of the things I imagine myself doing when I get off the treadmill of tick tock. sigh......

Spending for yesterday:
God only knows. At this point "Math is really hard" for me, though I'm sure its somewhere between $30 to $40. I'm not counting the Lauder as it is going back within a couple of days.

Today, I have yet to go through the Sunday paper. I do know I need to get some groceries at the health food coop. DH and I need to pick up some furniture we bought a week ago. Otherwise, I will have my nose burried in Voluntary Simplicity. The last time I read it was over 10 years ago and quite a lot of it is still relevant. I"ve also forgotten quite a bit.

Baselle - The name of your ING fund made me laugh out loud too!!! I joked about starting a FU (politely pronounced foo) fund. But I think this should be a sooner rather than a later. This work thing too shall pass. Short of arsenic in the drinking water, I intend to do everything within my power to make it happen as soon as possible.

Spending
Groceries: $30.08 (saved $15.26) DH paid for these, but I felt it was worth reporting because I did work hard to get such good deals. I've also started tracking grocery spending for the month. Reciepts are hanging on the fridge. I am curious to see just how low we can go. It will assist in motivating me not to buy junk, rather focusing on real food. Hopefully will also cut down on snacking between meals. That might also propel DH into menu making territory. The planning thing just makes it so much easier.

At the grocery store I splurged on real German pickles. I learned about these from a friend of a friend who is German. They actually feel good in my tummy because they are real pickles, not preservatives. The water isnt even that funny yellow/green. They were $6 a jar, but they had no fat and were low in sugar??? (Justificatio)

I went straight to the library after work. My favorite numbers in the dewey decimal system right now are 332.024. That is where the investment/self help/you can do it! section is. Our library has at least 12 to 14 shelves in this area. I did some research on Amazon and found some recomened titles. Otherwise, I just grabbed what looked good. I am drawn to books on investing for women, especially the ones written by women. Right now I'm reading A Gril Needs Cash. Its sort of lightweight on investing info so far, rather focusing more on why women are afraid to invest, discussing the myths, the psychology, etc. Its a pretty lightweight read, but I am on a mission to take in as much information as possible. I find that whenever I am learning something new, I need to saturate my gray matter well and then I just go off and do what needs to be done. No looking back. But that incubation period is needed.

With the hubby out of town, I am reverting to "single cat lady" status. I come home, put on pajamas, read on the couch until hunger drives me to the kitchen. Then I eat only side dishes, i.e. potatoes with butter, sour cream, bacon and chives. (I'm sure the BP was already elevated after today.) This is how I used to eat before married life. Hmmmm, was much thinner then as well....connection? Realized that this was plenty of food for me and it took 10 minutes with dicing of herbs and bacon; also made only a few dishes dirty. Made a secret promise to forgo cooking and see how long hubby will last on side dishes before asking for a full meal. Its summer, so that could be a while. Will also save on dishes. I'm not worried about permanent cat lady status until I slip into exclusively reading romance novels with Fabio on the cover and all my black clothes are covered in cat hair.

Tomorrow the only errands are going to be gas and order some turkey for the cats at the health food coop. So far anyway...other things might come up. I do plan to continue reading and catch up on my sleep. Both are free and popping one's gaskets really takes it out of a girl.

DH should be coming home this weekend and I'm sure he will work on the house. We are tiling one of the larger bedrooms in the back. (The whole house actually. The back bedroom is where we can see the floor at the moment.) Pretty easy work, but slow going to ensure it looks good for the rest of eternity.

Feeling quite crusty about the whole episode today. Will look for resolution before next entry. Could become quite cynical if allowed. Thanks for the support.

My fuse is short today. I'm trying to cool off a bit and see some logic in current office events, but its too late. I've already blown my gasket for the day.

I really like the work I do and I like my immediate supervisor. My future here is looking very good from my current perspective. However, empire building at a level way above my income bracket has me frothing at the mouth and grinding my teeth this morning. For the most part, I really dont care what people do with their careers as long as I can go about my job and get things done. But when they start stepping on my toes and undermining my work and reputation, I get angry. I'm not really sure how to handle this one. I'll talk it over at lunch with a trusted friend and see if I cant regain my sanity before charging into the boss's office, sounding like a five year old with "they said bad things about me" as the crux of my arguement.

Spending:
Italian dinner last night: $14.21 (have a heap of pasta left today for lunch)
At work, cofee and packaged doughnuts with fake chocolate frosting: $7 (and two Reese's)

Side note on spending: Because I am paying more attention when I sign credit card slips these days, I can recall the numbers without looking at the slip again.

Could really go for a Coke and ice, but the caffeine would probably enhance my charging bull tendancies at this point.

Today is one of those days where I yearn for financial independance, daydreaming about jumping off the treadmill and unplugging from tick tock. Oh how my stress levels would go wayyy down. Breath....and curse like a mad woman (*&#$%)*(&%@*()&#$@%&)*&*&)@#%&)*

This week is dragging. What is it about four day weeks? They get my hopes up only to dash them again. I think its the return to full time. I have to get up earlier to get out of the house earlier and then I come home later, especially if I am running errands. All for the sake of money.

I have to make a correction to my last post. I've been out of it a bit. I wrote that I've been having several no spend days. In reality, I've gone back to getting a $4.00 coffee in the morning on my way into work. So, I've been spending, just not aware of it. I have noticed that I feel really awful and am tired a lot more lately. I think I will have to go back to water again as I am probably not fully hydrated. But I have been diligent about bringing my lunch and snacks. I havent carried cash in weeks and the vending machines dont take plastic; so I couldnt get snackies if I were on my last leg.

Our employer does give us the option of charging food purchases to our accounts ($75 per pay period) via our ID cards. I used to max mine out within the first two weeks of the month and then spend about $100 beyond that (usually cash advances from the cc). But I gave up coffee and now the $75 lasts nearly the entire month. This is then taken out of our paycheck, so I'm still feeling the hit there; something I am striving to change. I'm an emotional eater and turn to caffeine when I feel the work blahs setting in. This is usually determined within minutes of the alarm going off in the morning.

Last night I read one of the Beardstown Ladies' s books on setting up your nest egg. It gives general explanations of investment options and has a couple of tables about how much you need to set aside for retirement. The combination of the two actually motivated me enough to take further action. Today I cancelled my automatic withdrawl for Savings Bonds from my paycheck and will cash in the two that I have to this point. I dont believe there is a penalty...will check that out. Once cashed out, the dinero goes to the cc's. Much better rate of return - earning 3?percent while paying 9.15 is very bad math.

Still debating about closing the Discover. Will do some searching for better intro rate. Disc was offering 9.4 as a teaser - oh pulease!! Once I find something better than 9.15 (current MBNA rate) I will make another transfer from MBNA to this better rate and that will assist in the decision to close the Disc. I didnt want to be hasty in closing the Disc just in case they could match a stellar intro rate. But that is not looking promising.

This weekend is looking like it will be quiet; we have no plans at this point. DH is leaving tonight to go help his mother and may be gone for a couple of days. Tonight I'm going to get some Italian carry out, grab a book and spend the night reading on the couch. No interruptions!!! No demands on my time!!! Such an exciting person I've become. I counter this with 1) with the exception of the cost of dinner (a guilty pleasure) spending will be minimal; I will probably have leftovers for lunch tomorrow and 2) I'm learning more about investing and the early retirement that I keep blathering on about. It will become a reality...I may go on and on for the next 10, 15, 20 years, but bear with me. One day I will retire...I hope sooner rather than later.

Its been a while.

baselle - thanks for the info on price book software for the PDA. I will do some research...

Things have been sort of busy here. Vacation is still on my mind, even its several weeks later. Could have used another month or two. I keep joking about early retirement and have actaully checked out several books from the library on the topic. Sigh...it will be a while yet before I am able to exercise that option. But a girl can certainly dream - and take action to make it happen.

On the money front -
- I have paid my Discover off in full. A combination of balance transfer and real cash for the loose ends. I am debating whether or not to cancel it. I could see if I can get a better rate on a balance transfer for another card, playing them off each other. If I cancel it, I am down to two cards. One (MBNA) with a balance I can pay off in 5 months. The other, (ATT) with a balance to pay off within a year. I am waivering because I'm afraid I will close a door that will not be easily re-opened. Not sure why I think that...will have to think about it a bit more.

- The momentum of incurring more debt has slowed, actually has come to a halt. Overall debt has been hovering at an all time high for some time now. Its like a ball that you throw up in the air. Its at the highest point of its arc and is about to start falling back down to earth at an amazing speed. My goal is to be free within a year.

- My desire to spend has vanished. I still yearn for a new wardrobe and go through every catalog that comes to our house. I mark off the items I want and drool for a while. Then I put the catalog away for a couple of days. Eventually, the catalog ends up in the trash because its become clutter and I'm too lazy to go through the hassle of ordering, waiting, recieving the items and then having to send them back; repeating the process until I find something that fits. I am saving myself sooo much money this way.

- Been going to the library A LOT lately to find books on money, investing and the psychology of wanting and buying. We usually walk which is also good for our health.

- work is going very well. I am full time again and sooo looking forward to the first paycheck which will reflect that increase (the 15th) A huge chunk, nearly all of it, will go to the MBNA cc.

- house remodelling continues. DH and I just took a van load of clothes and things to a church group who will distribute the items to people in need. It is a good feeling to know these items will be used rather than ending up in a landfill. We've been doing this for about a year and a half now and are starting to see the difference. We are not collectors or clutter bugs; stuff just has a way of accumulating. DH and I decided enough was enough and have begun a campaign to not let it happen again. Success is ours.

Those are the highlights. No details on spending, because the majority of days have been no-spend. I've gotten in the routine of bringing food and drink from home, doing things around the house for entertainment and cooking when time allows. Sounds sort of boring, but my prize to myself for paying everything off is going to be a trip. Right now I am considering Brazil....

Spending for today:
17.38 Target for cat litter
39.41 Pet food store for cat litter and food

I ended up getting litter in two places because the prices were both very good. I've been relying on my price book heavily to get the best deals. Or if not the best deals, an educated guess on just how far off something is, i.e. something I really like compared to the rock bottom price.

The next step is to get the price book into a spreadsheet and onto my PDA so I can take it with me everywhere I go. Been caught too many times without it and have either passed up good sales or got suckered into buying something that later turned out to be a bum deal.

Keeping a price book has helped take a lot of the stress out of purchasing necessities around the house. I think is has also added to this new found comfort?? about having enough. The cupboards are pretty well stocked, and now even when I do see things on sale that we use, we dont need them. So I dont have to run around town chasing deals.

I like this frugal thing. With just a little planning, and a little time to turn the momentum around, it makes life a whole lot easier.

Returning from vacation. The time away was fantastic!!! I could so get into early retirement - like next week. The reality is that I would need to spend no money for about the next ten years to make it a reality. Put that on the "to do" list.

Travel always motivates me to "need" less. Why? Because I am really too lazy to carry all that stuff around with me. I did well, bringing only what i needed and if I didnt have it, I somehow managed to do without. Didnt do a lot of shopping while we were away. Now that we are home, I am so not into superfluous shopping. Looked at the Sunday paper and could not be enticed to buy. This feels so much better.

On the home front, the remodel continues. Again, we are getting rid of more stuff while continuing to organize what remains.

I am still working on the cc's. I did some projections on how and when to pay them all off. Things are still on track for this year. I am happy with that and am confident it will actually happen this time. Overall, I've been very good at keeping spending down and paying huge amounts on the cc's. Its different this time around because I no longer want more things. The spending wheels are grinding to a halt and slowly the direction is beginning to change.

Could it be? An actual phase of little or no stress? Breath a sigh of relief.......

I went to the library last night and found some more reading to help keep me on track. I took home and nearly finished "Nickle and Dimed" The author went undercover in three different areas to see if she could live on the wages that "unskilled" workers are paid. Hint - Wal-Mart was the worst.
It was a very good read.

I had a small fee to pay for that last stack that was overdue by a day.

Right now, I am wiped out. Tonight I plan on cleaning the house as we are getting ready to go on vacation. I havent bought any new clothes for the trip and feel pretty confidant that I wont buy too much when we are there.

Dinner will be leftovers to clean out the fridge. Need to do some laundry.

I am thinking about taking a second job for the summer and for ever how long I can swing after that into the fall semester. The more I think about it and the more success I see, even though small, the more I really want to pay off everything. I think that spending is way down - that's more of a guestimate based on emotions rather than concrete numbers. I really, really want to pay off this anchor.

After that, I hope to have some time to read and relax. Reading is such a mental vacation for me. I'm still raedy for retirement, but am at least willing to stick with it for a while longer...maybe the vacation will help hit the reset button.

Seems that I am having more and more of these moments as I am more receptive to examining and improving my financial situation.

On my lunch hour I ran errands. Finally took the shred (old journals mainly) to the Humane Society. They had the cutest little fuzzball tabby there, but we are at the limit of three at our house. I could so easily have adopted one more and then tried to convince DH after all was said and done....parralel thinking to impulse buying?

After that, I went to a local drugstore to pick up a couple of items. Once at the register, I realized that I left all CC's at the office. I panicked(sp?) for a moment, but decided to float a check, which should come out okay in the end. But for a split second, I felt what it was like to be without any means of incurring debt.

Now that its done, and the horror has passed, I think I could get used to paying in cash only. I really do. That means I am cancelling the Discover once I pay it off this week. I will be down to three cards, only two that I have balances on. The AT&T is low, low interest until paid in full and I use it only for paying off high balance cards. The other is an MBNA which is at the top of the avalanche to pay off. I have a couple of hundreds available on that one, so will have it for emergencies - other than those eternal "deal of the century" situations I convince myself to spring for.

It was a rush. I am going to make every effort to take the plunge ASAP. I'm also considering picking up something part time, maybe even donating plasma? I've done it before and didnt really care for it. Maybe things have changed?? Not overly enthusiastic, but willing to explore the options.

Funny how you get what you ask for when you really mean it...whether you are ready or not.

This has been a nearly no spend weekend, more or less. I had an appt, but that was budgeted for, so even though I spent, no new debt was incurred. That's it. This was a no debt weekend? Its a shade of gray, but there must be a good name for it.

We went to sam's and got out of there spending only $65. That was a small miracle in itself. DH paid. Groceries, all things that were on the list that I've been keeping on the fridge for the last month or so. Whenever we run out of something, I write it down so the list more accurately reflects what we need and use.

I've been doing a lot of reading about money and saving. The books on saving were REALLY boring so I didnt finish them which means I got no information out of them. Are they trying to discourage people from saving?Saving has always been a dry subject for me with the charts and formulas. Its always been something other people do, crusty, boring people who dont seem to be having any fun. Standing back to read what I've just typed, it makes total sense to me that I am in the situation I am.

I guess I found the books on living more frugally far more interesting. Does this then imply that I will spend the rest of my days living on less while never saving? Always chasing the tail while not realizing I am the one making it go round and round? This is starting to make sense to me.....How else will I reach my goals and live the life I dream of if I dont find another source of income other than the tick tock world of 9 to 5??? Ive really begun to see how this is working and how I've kept myself trapped.

Interestingly, this is happening as my job/career is about to take off. Things are looking good and all I need to do is continue on with what I already do and wait for the results to come in. I've never been in this situation before. Totally new territory. I had this flash that after all the strugling to pay things off while I am in school for a masters, that is when I will start to make more money; when the need is not as strong nor the situation as dire as it once was. Stranger than fiction....

I will continue to get some books from the library. It puts me in the right frame of mind. But if I continue to do what I've always done, I will continue to get the same results....

Good God, where is this coming from?

On a more earthly level, this Friday is payday. I should know how much my check is by Tues!!! After a huge balance transfer to a lower rate, the Discover has a couple of hundred on it that I will pay off this week. I'm considering closing that account, but I would be without a card I could use for expenses. Its probably a good thing, but I am a bit afraid to be without the security blanket plastic provides. This is a chance for me to put my money where my mouth is (no pun intended) and see if I can put the brakes on they cycle of spend and debt. (I already hear steel wheels screeching. Are those sparks I see?)

That is something to seriously consider. It makes my stomach feel all twisty and knotted.....What if I miss a really big sale?? (LOL) What if I have to do without??? I think that is the real question here.

Went through the Sunday paper this morning and there was nothing I needed; nor was there anything I wanted. I'm tired of chasing around town, running errands and then managing stuff. Plus, I have already stocked up on the basics, the things we use regularly, so we dont need any more. Its a good place to be at, but there is still something I need to settle in my outlook on this... more shifting into using what I already have rather than continuing to chase the best deal or whatever else is dangled in front of me...stepping out of consumerism and all the bad habits I've acquired (sp).

The week ahead looks pretty low keyed. I have food prepared for lunch tomorrow. Will make somethings for dinner tonight that I can take for the rest of the week. I still entertain dreams of retiring next week. Though, I like the work I do and the people I work with my current job is not what I yearn to do with my time when I open my eyes in the morning. I feel like a fake who will be found out.

I need to process this. I am feeling rather off with all these new thoughts that I've uncovered. I suppose that is why we write...

Got on-line during my lunch hour. The internet and impulse spending are each other's evil twin.

Vitaminlife $64.97 and Amazon $35.58. Way too easy, but when compared with prices locally, I am saving money on items that we use regularly. I also keep a lengthy list until I can wait no more in order to save on shipping. This always makes the purchase seem like a big hit. The last time I ordered from them was a month ago. That is also getting better. I'm also striving to use up what I already have on hand before purchasing. That's also going very well. Sorting through lots of fluff while running out of necessities.

Onto better things. DH went to the library last night and checked out a copy Overspent Americans. (One of the results of my search using thirft in the subject line.) Very interesting read. The author has done extensive research into the psychology of how keeping up with the Joneses has changed over the years. Its no longer the Jonses that are tempting us.

The second half is about downsizing. So totally grooving on that section. I'm ready to retire next week! With not even five years at current job and tender age of 37, its going to be a while, but I'm really ready. Could also be allergies making me want to curl up in a ball for the rest of eternity and sleeeeeeeep until I am wrinkled and gray with age.

House remodeling is moving along quite nicely. We hope to have three major rooms tiled by the end of the summer. This means they will be totally done/functional and usable!!! It also means we can start with the final unpack and fully determining how much or how little furniture and decor we want to have. Since we moved in, we've been getting rid of things by the van load. Granted, some of it is things like interior doors and bathroom vanites from the remodel, but lots of other knicky knackies and just stuff that we hauled from the mid-west are gone. I love uncluttering!!

In the remodel boxes have been shuffled from one room to the next, either until I get to them to sort out or until we start looking for something we need. We originally moved it down here in case we needed it and didnt know how or where to find it. But lots of it we are either outgrowing or just dont need. (Snow suits, long underwear and turtlenecks for example.

Also, a lot of the clutter was from our apartment. I found that I did a lot of decorating (translate purchasing and acquiring) in our apt to cover up some of the design elements I didnt like or the fact that the walls were an ugly, smoker yellow. Now that we are in our own place, no more covering up. We can actually fix whatever offends us!!! We also have a lot of space and I am going to use that as a design element. I really dont see us spending a lot of money on things to fill the house. DH likes to go to furniture stores and drool over the leather couches. I cant get out of the place fast enough. We have a couch!!! All four legs work very nicely, thank you. Don't go changing what's not broken; it doesnt need fixing...whatever, but point still made.

In the back of my mind, I would rather have the luxury of downsizing/retiring early and lounging about the house late into the morning in my pjs. Rather than have a house full of furniture that keeps me tied to the grind. Not to mention, I will be the one who gets to dust!!

Gotta go. Spanish test that I havent studied for looms close on my horizon - in 15 minutes. yo no estudie.

So, I figured out why I had such strange cravings for something that really isnt good for me - I was getting sick. This is a strange pattern that I've observed over the past several years. When I'm about to get sick I crave really bad food. Sure there is a scientific explanation somewhere. That or I'm lacking in some essential preservative?

I stayed home and slept the day away. Ive been awake for four hours now and am feeling tired.

But to allay my cravings, I went to the health food coop yesterday and what was on the sale table right as you walk in the door - a kit for making tacos!!! I got two. Added beans to make the meat go farther. For the past two days that is what we've been chowing on. Wonderfully self-indulgent and even better to know that it's much cheaper and better than Taco Bell.

DH is presently at the library and I begged for some chocolate cake. I was home ill today and am not really in my right mind. That is why I"m sucumbing (sp?) to these cravings that seem way more intense than they should be. At the library, I asked him to get me a couple of books on thrift. One is the millionare next door. I read it a while ago and feel the need for inspiration. The others, I forget the titles, but I just put thrift in the subject line when I did a search in the catalog. Unfortunately, the selection was small...and they were all in. Good for me, but why isnt there a waiting list? Commentary on the greater public's attitudes toward saving money?

I hope to return to work tomorrow so I've packed some oatmeal for lunch. Trying to work with my sustem rather than against it. Not sure what else to bring. Probably wont be tacos.

Onto other things. We are getting ready for the vacation we will be taking next week. I'm slowly collecting things in a pile. Found lots of expired sunscreen. The reasearch I've done indicates I should just toss it. Hate to do that as that stuff is not cheap. I dont go out in the full sun whenever I can help it, but still use the SPF 45 or 50 just to make sure. The last time I was at the dermatologist's he mentioned something spray on by either no ad or bullfrog. Whichever is the cheapest with the highest SPF.

I hear the couch calling...cant' go on much longer...

Today has been a no spend day!! If I feel up to it tomorrow, I will run errands. I've been tracking spending for this month and overall it is way down, especially at work. I've given up coffee adn have been bringing tea or water. I just cant say it enough, but being prepared really makes a huge difference.

Again, a thanks to the kind person who rated my journal with the extra star!!

The weekend was a no spend weekend. I spent a good deal of my time cathcing up on sleep. The trees are pollonating and my allergies are bothering. I'm also re-reading One Hundred Years of Solitude. I think its my favorite novel. Love the combination of real and surreal. It was the first novel I read immediately after we moved to the SW and I see some parrallels in the culture.

Did the Sunday paper search and found a couple of items on sale that we always use. I will run errands during the week to pick things up. It spreads out the spending. And it all seems less of a chore.

I've been relying heavily on my price book and its really made a difference in how I shop. Not only does it let me compare prices for the same product at different stores and among different brands, but it also shows me when something I'm using is just way out of the ball park. Can't think of an example for that one, but I know I have changed how I shop and what I use as a result of my price book. It also makes hunting for the absolutely best deal a lot more fun.

Spending today:
Marshall's - skirt returned: $16+
Land's End - $30 (cant help it. Its' part of my wardrobe update effort.)
Lunch: Subway $2.33 (DH had a full card. I brought my lunch, but really, really wanted a sandwich. Actually, I wanted a Cousin's sub, but the nearest one is about 1800 miles away.)

I did go into several stores at lunch and tried things on. But from experience the rule I've developed is that if I'm ont absolutely in love with a garment, I'm not buying it.

The other justification I'm using to shop for new work clothes is this. For the past year to a year and a half I've been parking my car in the farthest lot from my ofice. The parking sticker is also cheaper. Its about a 15 minute walk - uphill on the way back - and its pretty much the most exercise I get all day.

So after hiking to and from my car for the past year and a half, I've lost about 15 pounds. (Confirmed at the Dr. office, not just wishful thinking.) Well, I seem to have lost it all from my backside. (My favorite jeans are still snug in the waist.) And now when I try on my summer skirts that fit perfectly well before, they slide off while I am walking. Discovered this on the Monday morning hike into the office today. Its a very strange feeling to have one's clothing slowly slipping away while in a public place. New clothes needed before I'm ticketed for indecent exposure. LOL!!!

The funny thing is that this skirt was at one time a favorite. It goes with everything. But I put it into the giveaway pile because I wanted a change. Well, last night I thought about it and reconsidered. After today, its going back on that pile. I dont think I can alter it either. Thought about that for some time as well.

For dinner I am so craving Taco Bell. Dont know why. Several years ago it prompted me to become a vegitarian - hard cord, borderline vegan - until I met DH. I never thought the day would come when I had to divert my attention from in. So, I'm putting that on hold. Will go to the coop tomorrow and get fixings for taco salad. At least it will be moderately healthy. Turning to the freezer....I have a pound of bacon in the oven and some shrimp. (The bacon cooks all at once and if you line the pan with foil, clean up is very easy. Plus, I'm just not in the mood to stand over a hot frying pan at the moment.) Not the healthiest of choices, but I am so tired of my own cooking and I'd rather read or do something more entertaining right now that be the mistress of the stove and sink.

No fantasticly coherent thoughts about money or saving. Today was so-so in that area. Since I will be running errands all week, lots of money will be leaving my hands.

Almost forgot...went to the site on organization that someone else recommended. It was pretty good!!! I found a checklist for travelling and there were a couple of ideas about decluttering that I found I could use.

I just love this site!! So much useful info!!

Thanks.

First, a hearty thanks to the person who rated my rantings at four stars. Thank you!!! I know I am certainly enjoying the site - reading and contributing. The information, but also the sense of community, are strong motivators.

Its nearing the midnight hour and we should be sleeping soundly, but neither of us feels like it. Money has become a central point of discussion this evening. This is a major shift for us. A pleasant shift.

Tonight we went to see the hitchhiker's guide. Quite well done. Didnt read the book, but DH did. He said many things were left out, but for a nubie, it was entertaining. I came out of the theater feeling very well entertained.

Afterwards, we went to Taco Bell...a total impulse move. We didnt want to come home and face responsibilities, so we got terrible food that we will more than likely regret in the morning. I joked w/ DH that I was such a cheap date as the entire evening cost him about/ less than $25.

So, after coming home and chowing on very tasty/nasty fast food, we started talking about money. DH showed me the cc used strictly for groceries. That was an eye opener. I went to the discussion bd here to find out more about how much is should/would/could cost for a family of two. We are speding around $300-$350 per month. Disgustingly high. This does not include dining out, which we have cut back within the past two to three months. This was the perfect time for me to mention that those numbers could be reduced signigicantly WITH A LITTLE HELP IN MENU PLANNING - meaning his input and ideas for things he would like to eat. Point was well recieved. It was also a golden moment for reinforcing some of my quirky methods for saving money, i.e. making when DH would rather buy.

Then, further examination revealed a suspicious (sp?) monthly charge on his cc. Tracking it back, its been happening for some time. However, DH usually does not check his statements closely. I think that is about to change. I've caught mistakes on mine in the past and now I've learned to decipher the statements, thoroughly going over the fine print, etc.

And that is what is significant here. With just the minor changes I've been making, talking openly about my goals and how I am working toward them has indirectly had an impact. DH seems to be more aware that even though we are doing okay, with some changes, we can do even better. We both come from very frugal families. His family made it work; mine is still locked into the poverty mentallity. So, cutting back is not really new. It was just the issue that we never completely sorted out prior to getting married.

Currently, we keep our finances separate. I like it that way. I've seen too many women become financially tethered to failing relationships. Not that I expect to bail anytime soon...or ever for that matter. But life is unpredictable and should it ever come to that, I value my freedom.

Stepping down from the the soap box now... I am thrilled in the turn around and the general direction we are going to head off into. I would like to retire early or go down to part time within the next five years; once cc's are paid and house is paid too. May need a new car by then, but would like to pay in cash. I just want to be free of major expenses, get out of the rat race as much as possible and get on with the business of living. I'm in my late 30's (sounds so much better than "I'll be 37 next month.") Still a challenge to admit that I dont have it al together as I'd hoped at this point. Where does the time go?

I think its time to try some sleep. It's free!!!

I keep losing my posts. I type out my soul, then instead of submitting, I hit the back button or some button on the mouse, the screen refreshes and all is lost. Thankfully, none are literary jems, but I'm a bleeding web developer. Why am I having end user/browser interface issues? Am I going to pieces, becoming hyper-emotional over my financial state? Could be. My thinkin is impared. Could be all the electromagnetics send off by the CPU though.....

To the matter at hand...just got off the phone with cc co. Closed the card!!! One down, three more to go. It took about 3 months, maybe four to pay off $1700. This triumph is compromised since overall debt has increased during these first months of the year. However, I am confident that these small steps to clean things up are headed in the right direction. It didnt take a couple of days to get into debt. It will take a bit to get out of it.

Though not yet over, today looks like it will be a no-spend day. DH wants to see the hitchhiker movie. His treat. Will go tonight. Matinee is cheaper, but we are both working around the house, so evening works best.

Made dinner and dessert from the pantry. I could easily get into that routine. With some simple input from DH and a stack of recipes, finding quick, easy things to make after work, during the week could be doable. I notice the difference during the week when I am at work. If I take my lunch, my whole day goes so much more smoothly! I get good food, my tummy is happy and I dont have to pay extra for it.

But it takes time. That is always the battle - time or money.

No other news to report. Just a fantastic desire to part with less cash in the coming days.

I typed in my entry, then bumped the wrong button on my mouse. The screen refreshed and I lost the post. Probably a good thing, to be honest. It was a woah is me sort of thing.

Since I've been changing my wicked ways, my overall debt has continued to increase. (Though probably not as quickly as it previously was.) I am making large payments on the cc's and have cut wayyyyy back on the money I spend for food/drink at work. Its the rest of the budget that still needs an overhaul.

This month has been spendy for things that are needed around the house. There have been a couple of wants, but nothing like in March! But then I am discovering that things I thougt I needed could have been resolved less expensively after the money has been spent....grrr....really hate it when that happens.

I just transferred a large balance from 15% to 5% for one year. Did the math and the amount I will save is fantastic. I should either have it paid off in a year or be very, very close by the time the interest rate sky rockets.

I think the momentum of my spending is slowing. It will take just a bit more to actually turn in around and start heading just as boldly in the other direction.

Having been an absolute black belt tightwad in the past, spending NOTHING for several months at a time, I know I can do it again. I just need to get in the right frame of mind and that is where the challenge has been.

So while I feel a pang of regret, I'm nowhere near as freaked out about money as I used to be.
I have a solid job. The pay is okay - I can definately live on what I make, and pay off what I owe. Its just not as much as I would like it to be RIGHT NOW!!! But then, Rome wasnt built, blah, blah, blah.

This is the point where to novelty wears off and to truly change one's ways, you have to stick with it.

Dragging.... but persevering.....waiting two more weeks for payday....(I believe that is the real problem here.)

Finally!!!

Do the jiggy dance!!!!

Saving spending until the weekend when I run errands.

Jiggy dance!!!!

vet visit: 90.60 - but the cat is healthy and improving
lunch 3.22 - could not resist the soda/pastry combination, but it wasnt as good as the one I had yesterday.

Tomorrow has better potential for being a no-spend day.

The weekend also looks quiet. Will probably do some major cooking to have leftovers for lunch during the week.

Friday is payday, but all funding has been allocated. Now starts the long, hard wait until the next payday....

Spending today:
presciption: $35 with copay!
soda and pastry: 3.22

I broke down today and spent on sugar laden, fru-fru, non-nutritious junk food. I had an exam and was sort of dragging afterwards. Thought it would pick me up. We know how that doesnt really work. So, it was purely an emotional purchase. These things, they happen.

But on a better note, I was in two stores today, Walgreens while waiting for my script and the coop for a special order, and while waiting for both, I felt absolutely no desire to look around and spend. At this point in my life, I truly feel like I have all that I want. Such a lovely place to be in.

Then I came home and made dinner. It turned out. I've been cooking for years and like to think I've attained some level of skill, but sometimes it's still a crap shoot. DH liked it. This means he will eat the leftovers.

Went on-line to see how much my check will be on Friday and began paying bills. I've rearranged my cc avalanche payment plan. Overall it will still take about the same amount of time, but this way I'm getting some of the smaller ones out of the way quicker. It will be good to have a success sooner rather than later. Will need to make some transfers to lower rates, but I need to do some research and see if balance transfer fees wont negate any savings made from lower interest rates.

The rest of the week looks so-so. Cat to go to the vet for a follow up. Couple of meetings at work. Will go on-line for some shopping this weekend.

Slowly, I am updating my wardrobe and actually buying things I LIKE to wear rather than just buying whatever is on-sale or the cheapest item. I've found that this lets me feel better about the clothes I own while actually needing fewer things in the closet.

Amazing what can be accomplished when one pays attention to the details.

Have to log off now. Been a long day...must sleep...

It feels wonderful!!! I resisted the temptation to buy chips and soda to go with my h/m lunch. Rather, I focused on my financial goals (pay off cards in about a year then travel) and it was very easy to be content with what I had brought for lunch.

On the drive home I was also very grateful for my little old car. Its showing its age and isnt a very sexy model to begin with, but it is paid for and I have never, ever had major mechanical problems with it.

Overall, a very good day in the saving forum. I reconsidered my goals after having lunch with a friend and reviewing this site and I believe saving wil be much easier from this point forward.

Following the shock of the Discover card balance, I've started tracking everything I've spent this weekend. Wow!! When you aren't watching, the money really slips away quickly.

Today, I sat down with the Sunday paper, looked for the sales and through the coupons. Not many great sales, but there were a couple that we could use. So DH and I ran some errands. The most wonderful thing about the day was that I stuck to my lists. I was on a mission. I also was well aware of what we had at home and why I was buying the things that were on my list. Even sale items werent appealing. I did stray and get some pasta for .60 a pound, but that was it.

We've been using a lot of coupons lately, but only on items that we would buy anyway. Even DH likes to see how much we save compared to how much we spend. He's getting to the point where he asks if we have coupons before we buy groceries or think about going out to dinner.

Still need to get the rest of the things lined up for the week, i.e. what to wear, lunch, dinner menus, etc.

I've been paying attention to these details for about three weeks now. Well, I've always paid attention to these detials, but writing them down for all to see makes one feel a bit more accountalbe. Overall, I have to say that my daily routine is going much more smoothly and I feel some sanity returning.

Spending for today:
gas: 19.60
target: 11.11
albertsons: 28.98 (saved 16.71)
big lots: 5.74
albertsons: 27.85 (saved 15.49 - second transaction to take advantage of second $5.00 off $30 purchase)
walgreens: 5.48 (saved 2.99)

The week ahead looks promising, though not too many no spend days. But this will be for items other than food and beverages while at work. Those are already lined up. Spending will be bills and one lunch out. Friday is pay day!!!

My Discover statement just arrived via e-mail. OHMIGAWD!!! (gasp, gassp) Did I reaaly spend that much in the course of a single month!?!?! The sad part is that even with extra payments, way over the min, the amount I spent still exceeds the payments I have sent in. Reality check!!!

I thought I was doing very well with my no spend days. I think the statement reflects spending trends prior to changing my wicked ways. Ouch...to embarrassed to admit to the amount. I'll announce it when the card is pif.

The plan is still to have this card paid by November of this year. That is the goal and I'm sticking to it.

On Sundays I go through the paper, looking for sales and cutting the coupons. So today I am armed with a list of things I need (want). On the way home from work, I resisted the temptation to go shopping and buy. These are things that I'm going to try and do without for a bit. None of them is crucial. Plus, I would really like to pay cash from this point forward. So rather than turn off to Walgreens, the car kept going home.

On other fronts, I've decided to give my wardrobe a lift. I hate spending money on clothes, but need to look professional for work. I'm able to strike a balance with a pertetual casual Friday sort of look. It helps keep costs down, but still.... (whine) So, I.m giving myslef a budget of $50 per month for now. Today I purchased some shoes on-line at Zappos (love that site!!!) Very dangerous site...you can search for and find just about anything!!! The sandals will double for a family vacation in May. I feel less guilty.

The rest of my shopping will also be on-line. We have limited shopping options here and I've found that I end up spending money on things that either wear out after a season or they look like crap after one wash. So, I try to buy from Lands End/Eddie Bauer. Pricey, yes, but I love (and take advantage of) their return policy. Even if you've worn the items, they can be returned. In the long run, it does save me money. Local stores do not return worn items.

Went to the library last week and got a stack of books on local history. Tonight I'm taking a bath and settling in to read for a while. Clothes are ready for tomorrow and I'm off to pack a snack and lunch. Its so much easier when you're prepared.

This has been the third of three no spend days. With some preparation its been pretty easy to do. I brought my lunch and tea from home and have stocked my desk drawer with Pria bars. No more visits to the vending machines if I can help it. Getting food while at work is a hassle. The selections are few and all are overpriced. Most are guaranteed to give you gut rot.

Today I was able to go on-line and see how much I will recieve on payday this Friday. Also took a good look at the spreadsheet I've been using to budget and project how long it will take me to pay of all cc's. The largest could be done by November without any additional charges. This is my goal. I've done this before, but have gotten off track recently, hence the current situation. Reading the postings on this site and a couple of others has really helped to motivate me to get on track. Also, today I was talking to someone I work with and just last year they had been traveling. This person makes less than I do and they have children yet traveling is something they can afford. It got me thinking seriously about what I will do once I am debt free.

I returned $52 worth of clothes at lunch on Monday. That felt really good.

There is a pleasant calmness that is slowly settling over our household as I am purchasing less and becoming more committed to using what we already have on hand. There is less clutter because there is less to put away or make room for. There is less scrambling to find what I am looking for. Its very pleasant. Am seriously considering a very minimalistic lifestyle once again...

I stayed home today. Lounged around a lot and slept until I felt better. The trees here are doing their pollen thing and I've been dragging for a couple of weeks. This morning, I just could not get moving and start the week off.

I am in a major declutter mode. Saturday I donated a large box of picture frames to a thrift store. Ironically most of them were gleaned from Goodwill or St. Vinnie de Paul, so its only fitting they should return to a similar place.

This afternoon, I came across a box of old journals. Not wanting to just dump them, I've looked through and reviewed some of the events of my past. Not really material for a great american novel or even a mediocre biography, so they are going through the shredder. Since recycling office paper is a hassle where we live, I'm taking them into the Humane Society for puppy bedding. I laugh every time I think about it. But its going to a good cause. Currently I've got two bags and have only gone through two years. Those puppies will be in bedding for quite some time....

Continuing on the de-clutter theme, I've been going through things for the past several weeks, focusing on what I really need, taking a mental inventory of what I already have. My goal is to see that I already have what I really need so that when I am out shopping or running errands, the temptation to purchase extras will be lessened. I'm really getting tired of managing the clutter. It takes a lot of time and energy and I want to get on with the business of living, not shuffling boxes around.

I think this is being brought on by an upcoming family vacation in May. I want to see just how light I can make my luggage while still being comfortable at my destination and while I'm vacationing. Its less to keep track of too.

Spending today: went on-line for feline meds. They were pricey, but considerably less than at the vet's office. I'm quite optimistic that tomorrow will be a no spend day. I cooked a huge pan of lasagne and will have leftovers for lunch for the week!! I'll try to brew some tea before going to work. So much healthier than coffee, not to mention way less expensive.

I've been reading everyone else's postings for about a month now after stumbling across the site. What a fantastic site!! Of all the friends I know who are trying to do things a bit more frugally, no one wants to discuess the issue very much. Its sort of like the 300 pound guerilla in the corner. I want a forum to exchange ideas with other people who are heading in the same direction and arent afraid to discuss the good deal they have just found or how little they can spend on lunch (or sometimes not at all!) With all the flash in the media and the world in general, its a refreshing and welcome change.

Bravo to all of you who are so open about your spening habits. I still get very uncomfortable when having to admit that I am really not managing my money the way I want to be. I grew up in a family where money was fantasticaly tight, but once again, it was not discussed.

So, in addition to becoming more self-motivated to get my spending/saving habits in line, I am also interested in the psychology (mine and people in general) that drives people to want what they do not have, being driven to "keep up with the Jones'" and get themselves into debt over it. I'm hoping for the personal "aha moment" that will cause me to lose all desire to spend and be perfectly happy with all I currently own.( typed with tounge in cheek...is it really possible?)

My goals are to pay off all my cc's, which i can do in a litte less than a year and a half if I live like a white knuckled miser. Which just isnt an option. I enjoy some fru-fru at the end of long day/week/month. (Am not a spoiled princess, just like to relax from this stress of the daily grind. Unfortunately over the years, with a busy schedule and a desire to "make it" in the professional world of work, that has been equated with shopping and attaining materail items.)

I'm married to a wonderful man who does not have these hang ups about money, which is so refreshing. But because its a non-issue for him, he doesn't quite understand why I'm in the situation that I am or why I insist on making dinner when he is willing to take me out every night of the week.

We bought a house about a year ago (due mainly to his financial stability). Its a total "fixer upper" which means the price we paid was fantastic. I wasnt fully prepared for the stress that living in a construction zone brings.

Once my cc's are paid, paying off the mortgage is the next goal. I can almost imagine life without paying rent. Almost. Its been such a long time in the making however that it wasnt even an option on my radar until DH reminded me one day out of the blue!! By then (actually right now) I will really need a new car. The '93 wagon is beginning to show its age.

Tonight DH and I are going out on a date. We've decided to balance the work with some play. We are seeing a movie at the alternative/artsy cinema in town. Tickets will be full, evening price, but dinner - homemade lasagne, garlic bread (with homemade bread and cucumber salad) - will be totally from the kitchen. The finishing touches are in the works as I type.

I'm so glad that I found this site and want to thank everyone for what they have shared in their journals so far. I look forward to being a member of this community.

Spending today was heavy and painful:
Sam's for groceries - always spend $100 or more it seems
JC Penney - clothes; they were having a sale and I had coupons for about %20 off. Shopping options in this area are very limited. NOt sure I will keep it all.