Esmeralda's Personal Finance Blog

Today was almost a no spend day, but then I had to get some saline and Sinucleanse. I was home today with a sinus infection. I slept nearly the entire day away....several 3 or 4 hour naps. I felt this coming on Wednesday, but chose not to do anything about it, hoping I was just imagining the symptoms. But this morning when I woke up I knew it was for real. So, rather than run to the doc, I've been doing as much as possible at home, besides sleeping, to clear this up.

This weekend, no major spending in the plans. We need to grout the floor in the smaller guestroom. I'm not sure I will have the energy, but really want to get this done We've put it off a couple of times now and the procrastination is beginning to bother me.

I'm in the mood to clean things out these days. So tonight I went through the freezer taking an inventory and making menus for the week. Tomorrow is bean and bacon soup in the crock pot. I will probably also put together something in the bread machine so we'll have soup and fresh bread after a (hopefully) long day of physical labor. Tomorrow will be more of the crock pot. And Monday too b/c I have class until 8:00. From this perspective, it should be a rather smooth week. But we will see as it develops.

The goal for the weekend is to get plenty of rest, drink lots of water and do the eternal homework.

Today was a no spend day!!! I've started marking them on the calendar above my desk here at home. If it is a spending day, I mark the amount. At a glance, I can see how I'm doing.

The day was okay. Nothing stellar, but allergy season is starting and I probably wont be clear headed until the first frost. I was debating whether or not to go in. I finally got moving around noon. If this keeps up, I may have to take some time off just to recuperate.

Tonight, I have a whole lot of homework, but no desire to do it. I have class tomorrow night, so I should get some of the reading done.

Otherwise, still just more of the same. Its quiet, but right now that is a good thing.

Okay, today I have been able to function and get a few things done. I'm feeling a bit more put together and am rather enjoying the challenge of working the system to make Plan B work. There are still lots of files that I will need to recover or see if someone else will give me a copy, but overall, things are going to come together in the end.

Today's spending so far has been $3.84 for two bottles of water. I got home very late last night from class and did not have time to put together anything for today. I did make some dinner and brought leftovers today, so I didnt have to buy lunch, so that saved some money.

I did, however, go on-line and order some major supplements. I spent a lot, like $200, and it was on the cc. I feel kind of bad. But they are things that I do need. With this last paycheck I overpaid on the mbna and left myself without cash for the rest of this month. At the time it seemed like a good idea and I really thought there was nothing I needed. I guess I'm going through these supplements faster than I thought. I'm not going to beat myself up over it. I'm doing very well overall. And these are items that are critical for restoring my health.

Tonight is class and then home. DH wants to go out for dinner, but I'm not sure I will have the energy. Didnt make any solid plans for cooking anything for dinner, so I'm not sure what we will do. Going out seems like the path of least resistance.

At lunch today, I went to the park and looked at clothing catalogs. Sigh. So much that I would look good in. I will make a list and then figure out the total and feel the sticker shock before I go on-line. I really do want a nice wardrobe, but really dont want to have to spend that much. What is a girl to do....?

Today was rough day. I went to work to find my computer stolen. It took me half the day to get over the shock and begin to realize what I had lost. I could not work for the better part of the day. I was so brain fried.

I was especially worried b/c I've done banking over the lunch hour on that machine as well as check cc info, etc. So I've gone to the appropriate companies and changed passwords.

I'm way too frazzled. I thought I would write more, but now that I'm here, I just cant put my thoughts together.

This day flew by!! I studied and napped it away. But I did not spend!! I left the house for a study break to pick up a special order at the health food coop. When you order by the case, you get an extra 10% off. I bought rice milk because I've been drinking lots of shakes as a substitute for snacks. The coop is always out of it when I need it, so I bit the bullet and bought the case - paying in cash of course.

Tomorrow - more studying. One course in particular is taking all my time. DH and I want to go downtown (15 minute walk) b/c a group of dedicated volunteers has restored one of the original movie houses. They are showing two free films - very old films - and we are going to see if we can get in. Tix are free, so who knows if we will get in.

Otherwise, tomorrow will be about finishing up homework, which I want to do in the a.m. Then I'll go through the Sunday paper as a reward for studying. In the forefront of my mind is the desire to stay out of stores period. If there is a super good, fantastic deal, I might consider, but right now I'm soooo not in the mood to be running around chasing sales.

So, I'm not doing a very good job at saving. Instead I'm working on not spending and paying off the cc's at this point in my life. The challenge I have is that (like this week) I clean out the checking account to make a huge payment on the cc. This brings the balance on the cc down significantly and one day will result in a big ol' ZERO balance this will be a very good day.

However (always a however) it means that I have little (no) cash on hand until the next pay period at the end of the month. During my days of impulse spending, I would use the cc to cover wants until the next pay period, charging as much as or more than the last payment. This was like treading water. Actually, it was even worse, b/c interest accrued, adding to the balance even more. And with plastic, its so much easier to spend freely.

After the warm fuzzy of making a huge payment wears off, I feel this sense of anxiety which leads me to believe that i NEED everything that even remotely appeals to me. About 10% might be legit, but I could pass on them if I worked at it. Its a strange feeling that takes over my thinking even though I KNOW we have everything, everything that we need in the house and we are covered until the end of the month. In my more logical moments, I see that I have nothing to worry about.

To resolve this reasonless anxiety, I've come up with a plan. When I feel this mood come over me, I pull out the master spreadsheet and budgt the item into the next pay period where it will fit. Right now, the splurges are being put into the end of October budget. My goal is still to make large payments on the cc's. On my list are: a new lunch bag - one that will keep food cold, but it easy to clean. The current one is getting past it. I'm starting to wonder what lurks in the corners; a couple of products from Neutrogena; and some nutritional supplements that I want to stock up on while I have the cash to do so. Looking at the numbers, I'm already maxing out the late Oct budget. But I suppose that better than maxing out the cc!!

This helps to allay my anxiety for now. I am reassured that I can have these things should I still want them in the future, so I'm not feeling deprived. And who knows, by the time I get to late Oct, I may not really want any of them - or even better, a less expensive alternative or will have come along in the meantime.

I've found a solution, but it also shows me again that the acquiring of stuff drives a lot of my thinking, which in turn drives my actions. That still bothers me deeply. There is a poverty of spirit about it that bothers me.

I'm going to work on that...I will try to avoid shopping as much as I can for the next couple of weeks. I'll try to make it until I get paid again. That will be a stretch, but if this method is going to work for me, this will be a good test. What if I see a really good sale? hmmm....the wiser part of me says I am fine with all the things I currently have and I should pass. The consumer in me screams BUY IT!!! BUY TWO OR THREE. YOU MAY NEVER SEE IT AT THIS PRICE EVER, EVER AGAIN. I think the consumer in my is out to undermine me in the long run...Can that be exorcised, I wonder?

I went to lunch with a frienda and picked up the tab - $17 including a tip. I walked and it felt good to get the exercise. My friend then gave me a ride back to my office. I would like to get out more now that the weather is starting to cool down.

I brought my lunch but will save it for tomorrow. Dont have plans; maybe I will study....hmmmm...sounds productive, but I'll see how I feel when I get there.

This morning, I found a job announcement that I am interested in. It could potentially be more money, though would be more driving. I highly doubt the price of gas would offset the raise, so I'm going to look into it. I've done some preliminary asking around to see what the environment is like and if there is already an internal candidate. But I think I will revisit the resume this weekend and do some updating.

Today has been quiet and I'm enjoying it. This weekend will be all about homework. Tonight I need to sit down and get a grip on what needs to be done.

DH and drew up menus for the next several days. I find that if I plan more than four or five days out, it doesnt work. We usually end up with too much food and leftovers get wasted. I think we might take a picnic on Sunday and do some more hiking. Depends on how much homework I get done on Saturday.

i just paid bills, both written and scheduling payments on-line. I cleaned out the checking account for this pay period, leaving myself $4.10. However, I paid $750 in my mbna. My overall debt is THE lowest its been since I started tracking and being generally more frugal!!! That was around the turn of this year. Its fluctuated for the longest time and I've finally bought all the stuff I could want and have settled into a quiet routine that helps me see I have everything I need...and for now, everything I want.

This is fantastic. And to make the victory even sweeter, I have my needs covered with a good supply of extras on hand. This means no NEED to go shopping before the next pay period!! I think I will be okay and wont have to think about money until I'm paid at the end of the month. Finally, this is starting to pay off!!

To add to this, the water/gas bill was $30 lower this month than the last. That's good news.

I'm going to let this soak in for a while. Its a small step but in such a different direction from where I've been going. Wow.

I went on-line for find out the grand total for the pains of my labor for the pate two weeks. Its rather anti-climactic. But it will allow me to pay off the things that are due up to this point for the month.

Today is looking like a no-spend day. I was supposed to go to the grocery store after work, but I'm feelin lazy and will probably pass. The problem is that if I wait too long, all the sale items are usually out of stock.

I too have been very routine for some time now. I am finding a peace in the regularity. I think its because there is so much activity in my life between work, grad school and remodeling the house. If I can contain these things, encountering them in regular, measured spans of time, then their unpredictedness (?) is a bit easier to handle. I'm getting a little bored with it, but dont have the energy to deal with excessive randomness just yet. So, I will maintain the routine for now.

One advantage is that I tend to be more prepared to save money, i.e. lunch is packed, tea is made and lists are drawn up for a smooth errand running venture. I feel less stress when its all been thought out at least once.

With prices about to go up, I've been thinking about doing a little stock piling of dry and can goods. The reality is that we tend to eat fresh things and you can't put those away. I could freeze, but should the power go out, that would be a massive waste of resources. Will have to think about and research that one a bit more. We have a good stash on hand, buying things on sale, as most frugalites do. I'm just feeling the need to be a little more prepated, just in case.

My health is still on the forefront of my mind. I've really been making an effort to get enough sleep and to take it easy when I get home from work. I am becoming more comfortable with leaving things undone at the end of the day. So far, so good. I'm not a complete zombie during the day, but still feel tired a lot. Overall, i think I am making progress and firmly believe my health will return to its former state. Time is what I need.

Tonight I dont have class, so I will sit down with the master spreadsheet and the checkbook and do away with as much debt as possible. Yesterday was a rough day and I seriously entertained thoughts of quitting my job. But then I got angry with myself because I have tethered myself financially to a regular source of income. Until I have something else to go to, this is where I am going to be spening 40+ hours a week of my time. That needs to change. I've been slacking lately in my motivation to save. I need to find a plan that works for me to keep my eyes on the prize. I think that setting far reaching goals undermines me. I need to focus on what can be done daily and then see my success as I look back. In my current method, I tend to look forward and then play catch up with the activities of my daily life. Will have to examine that to get a better idea of where I stand with it....hmmmmm.

Today was an interesting combination of events. I did run errands. Target and Albertsons. Did very well at Target. I stuck to my list and found a couple of things that were cheaper than the last time I bought them. I also had a fistful of coupons so the total only came out to $36. I did splurge and buy a new wallet. I was just sort of looking but found one that is small and has spaces for everything I need to carry. I’ve been feeling unorganized lately so this might help. I also wanted a new purse and went to Marshall’s but found nothing. I’m not grooving on the current styels in purses for some reason. So I left Marshalls without spending a dime. This is a small miracle in itself. Marshall’s can be a true downfall for me.

Grocery shopping was uneventful. Stuck to the list but I forgot to bring the$5 off coupon they sent in the mail just yesterday. Could have used it. The total came to $38 and change. I will remember next time.

Then came home did some homework; took a nap until DH got up. He woke up early since we had agreed to do something together. We went to see Ladies in Lavendar. It was a good film. The thing that struck me was the pace of life these two women lead and the small town they were part of. It was truly at the pace of human life. Oh, how refreshing. The focus was on talking to the people around you!! Not about getting stuff!! So refreshing.

Then we went for icecream and came home. I was in go mode, so I unloaded the dishwasher, packed lunch for tomorrow, made tea, and cleaned the kitchen. It almost looks like something out of Better Homes and Gardens – for a couple of minutes anyway. But everything is put away, the counters are clean and there are no dishes in the sink!! The sink even shines because I cleaned it too.

I have these brief moments where I really think this house is becoming organized. I can actually find the iron and take down the ironing board for use. And then when I am done, both items have a designated place to return to, facilitating the prevention of clutter. This is a lovely change. I hope to be doing more and more of this.

Thursday is payday. I am looking forward to it. This entire check is about paying off cc’s and other bills that are more in the “wants” category. The second check of the month is about paying off the needs – mortgage, utilities, etc.

Too tired for anymore. Going to bed early to prepare for the following week.

It finally dawned on my why I havent been very regular in my posts lately. I'm not thinking about money. Grad school has a lot to do with that; its taking nearly all of my free time.

But something else is happening. It has to do with how I'm reorganizing my priorities. I look at the sales and have become very picky in that I will only purchase the things we are 100% certain to use. I've given up on looking for substitutes that may have a lower price. This means I’m doing less shopping so that means less running around. I’m going to buy what we like and be done with it already.

But also, at least for the past couple of weeks, once the errands are run and the bills are paid, I put the check book away and forget about the master spreadsheet and start getting on with my life. I’m really beginning to see how consumerism has taken such a massive hold on my outlook on life. I never used to be this way and I’m not sure what the turning point was but I don’t like what the situation has become. And that seems to be about getting rather than being. If something is on sale, buy several, stock up but be sure to get it at the lowest price. One could spend all their days waiting for the lowest price to come along. Too much of it is crazy making.

So I’ve stepped back a bit. I’m running errands on the weekend and that’s it. This is also because I don’t have time after work anymore and I’ve decided to keep my lunch hours free during the week at work.

Is this what they call Frugality Fatigue?? Been doing it too intensely for just a little too long? Its something I LOVE to do, but also need balance in my life. With classes taking all my time and bringing additional stress and with my health telling me to slow down and chill out, its become very clear that I need more balance.

So, having gone on about that, I’m going to complete my homework as best as I am able (wont be anywhere near done, but education is about learning) and let it go. I have some errands to run and then I want to do something fun. I might take in a movie or go for a walk. DH worked all night, so I may have to go it alone. This will be a pleasant change.

Today has not been as productive as I was hoping it would be. I had a hair appt at 10. But got up early to work on homework. I am taking two grad classes this semester (paid for by employer!) and one of them is going to be a true beast – lots of reading and then we have to summarize. To be honest, most of it is social criticism that was written at least 50 years ago, based on theories that I’ve never had explained to me completely.

I’ve spent the better part of my day working on one summary that I’m going to have to throw the towel in on. I don’t understand. Class is Monday night so I wont have a chance to ask before then. I think that is what I will do. Since my health has become an issue I’ve decided not to stress over things like this. I’ll take a B in the class. I don’t care that much. I’m already employed in the field and I’m sorry to say that I will not receive a promotion of any sort once I get the degree. Its not worth my health.

I’m going to move on to the next bit of homework for the other class…I feel more sane already.

Today was a hair cut. I’m going shorter much to DH’s dislike. I’m tired of dealing with my hair in the morning. It never dries fast enough and I’m always running late so I need something quick and simple.

Had lunch with MIL at a new restaurant. Food was okay. Cant say its at the top of my list for repeat visits. It was good to see her. We went shopping at a new store I found. She found a very cute dress for $6 and a t-shirt that was also on clearance. She was happy.

The rest of the afternoon has been spent doing homework. The cats are sacked out in their kitty donuts (beds) and dinner smells good in the crockpot. Laundry is in the drier.

Overall, I would have to say that this is a pretty good day despite the snag with the homework. I hope to get most of it done today. I’d like to run errands and go hiking or something physical tomorrow.

DH and I got quite a lot done this weekend. Not a lot of it was work related.

Yesterday we went hiking in the mountains. We bought a seasonal pass from the state parks dept and really need to take advantage of it more than we do. But we packed a picnic lunch and then went for a 2 mile hike afterwards. It was a tough one - nearly up hill the entire way there, but also almost as strenuous on the way down because of the grade. You had to work to keep from sliding down the hill. But it was good to get the exercise and I'm going to recommend that we do it more often when time allows. It was a great way to get rid of some of the stress that has been accumulating in our lives lately.

We just finished running some errands. I went through the Sunday paper and found the sale items that we normally use. Then I "mapped the route" so I could make one big circle around town. And away we went!! All the items we purchased today were on sale or had a rebate except for a $3.00 eye shadow that I splurged on at Walgreen's. I rather regret the purchase because I'm not as crazy about the color now that I'm wearing it. I'll try it out a couple more times before I write it off as a total loss.

We got some very good deals. I also calculated price per unit to make sure the sales were good sales...
Walgreens: 2 for 1 on saline and Q-tips
Albertsons: Cat litter $.21/oz - THE lowest price I've been able to find; got three 30lb pails
Target: John Freida shampoo and cond; on sale for 4.72 and I had three $1 off coupons
Then for the grand finale - JCP. A couple of months ago we were given a new king size bed. This of course means we will need to buy bedding. JCP had a 40-50% off sale of nearly all linens and bedding. We bought a king duvet, four pillows, and a full set of sheets for a king size bed for $180! This is with a savings of $160!!! I love it when I can save almost as much as I spend!! Even DH was amazed at the final price (in a good way.) So he took me out for lunch.

The purchases at Target were the only ones on cc; about $12. That makes me feel pretty good. I have about $20 in cash until payday on the 15th. This should easily last me b/c I've been VERY good about bringing my lunch to work. My desk drawer is packed with healthy snacks, so there is no temptation from the vending machines.
I made some large purchases on my Discover, but will be able to pay them in full when I get paid next week. When I plan like this, paydays dont seem so far apart.

Overall, things feel like they are going well financially right now. Last month was a disaster, but I feel I've recovered quickly. I cant say it enough - the items that we use regularly are being purchased with cash. So when they are used up or we need to replace them, we arent still paying off the previous batch. That is such a liberating feeling!! I want more of that.

Also as we remodel more and more of the house and things finally find their forever resting spots (things are being put away where they will be for the duration of our time here, i.e. linens in the linen closet) and the house becomes more organized, I feel more like I already have all the creature comforts I need around me. Getting the new bathtub installed was a biggie. Now I can take a bath at the end of a stressful day rather than medicating with food or some other unhealthy form of diversion.
The other side of this is that in putting everything away, I've gone through a lot of stuff and moved along the items that we havent used in the past five years. That was also liberating!! More room for the rest of the stuff. We really arent clutter bugs; we just held onto things we thought we might need when we moved to the SW. Now that we realize we either dont need them here or we can easily find a replacement, we are adapting our stuff to match the situation. But, not buying more to replace the volume we are letting go of. Its been fun to see the shift and great to see some of that old stuff go out the door. DH is still holding onto his snowmobile suit from WI and somewhere I still have silk long underwear...just cant part with them!! Spent too many of our formative years in a cold climate

Like so many others who have posted, this morning finds me updating the money tracking spreadsheet and figuring out where to put the resources for the next two weeks. All bills are paid and $300 went to the mbna.

Overall, I've started paying in cash when I make a purchase; nearly all things in cash actually. I cover our needs and a few wants and then I pay the cc's. This way I'm not increasing cc balances and am still paying them down at a rate I am happy with. I used to do it in reverse. Pay the cc's and then figure out how to get what we needed. Which usually ended up on the cc. This lead to over spending because there were no immediate limits.

Its really helped me get a more accurate feel for what I am spending. And as the research proven cliche goes - I spend less when the cold hard cash is leaving my hands (or checkbook). The numbers feel like they have more consequence. Using plastic feels too much like play money.

I started using my Discover as my main card again, replacing the mbna which I am diligently paying down. But this time, I am keeping my purchases low and have made a condition that I use it only if I will pay it off every month. That should be simple enough. And once this cycle gets moving, it will be easier to maintain.

Last month, due to events beyond my control, spending was far too far out of control. I'm still on track for paying off the mbna, but the date for zero balance has been moved back to December. That will be a nice holiday present.

I havent been counting my no spend days, but have been very good about bringing my lunch and tea or water to work. I've also loaded up my desk with Pria bars. Vending machines are now a thing of my past.

Its a new week and I feel much more focused. I spent the weekend studying and going over the financial situation. Wed is payday so there is incentive to get back on track. I've already written out most of the bills; just waiting for the money to hit my account and one or two more bills to come in. The rest is going on the cc.

Classes ahve started, so that now occupies most of my time. Its great for not spening money. Classes are paid for by my employer. I just need to cover books and this semester they were around $100.

Just taking things one day at a time here.

Well, not much improvement on the money front. I have not paid anything on the mbna cc for this month yet. Need to schedule an on-line payment before its due. I also want to look for a lower rate. I never got around to cancelling my Discover. Maybe I'll go fishing tonight and see if they can give me a better rate than mbna does.

Classes started yesterday and I've enrolled in two this semester. My employer pays for them. I just need to pay for the books. I'm earning my master's degree this way. I learned my lesson when I went into debt with my BA and vowed never to do that again. I just hope it pays off. I'm sure it will, but the light at the end of the tunnel is weak right now.

DH is out of town for the next couple of days on business. That means cornflakes for supper in front of the TV!!! And Twinkies for breakfast - just kidding.

I really need to get my brain back in frugal mode. The past several days have been no spending b/c 1) I've been bringing food in from home and 2) I refuse to buy the crap available here at work. Its all junk food. Trying to get a salad around here is like getting blood from a turnip. Its just not going to happen.

I've just wanted to take it easy and not worry about money lately. I dont need anything, but I also dont want to think about money 24/7.

I'm feeling a little defeated by all the expenses that came up last week. "Stalled" is a better word I guess. Its a funny combination of feelings. I spent nearly my entire paycheck on things we so-so needed. I did pay in cash, rather than plastic. But I spent like a mad woman nonetheless. The spending avalache started with some medical items and spun out of control from there. I get paid next Wed at the end of the month.
The worst part about this is that I've been so busy lately that I havent had time to sit down, collect my thoughts and refocus. That is what I really want to do.

Tonight after work is class - until 6:30. I should have time to run and errand or two on the way home. Make a couple of returns and get cash in my pocket.

I'm rambling. Its the end of a very busy day - a very welcome end.

Things have been crazy around here. I had a medical issue surface that i needed to take care of ASAP. Not only was the condition itself stressful, but then there is all the peripheral (sp?) stuff you have to deal with, like navigating the insurance/copay/pharmacy dance.

I went to a regular doctor and was given the gloom, doom and eternal fear lecture and then sent on my way to purchase a couple hundred dollars worth of meds and supplies - this is the copay - even with insurance!!! I was really freaked out and nearly in tears as I walked out the dr office. But I had my wits about me to only purchase the minimum until I sought additional advice.

Today, I went to see the naturopath whose opinion I so highly value. She agreed with part of the diagnosis previously given and proceeded to tell me what was really going on. She gave me some enzymes and supplements that she had given me before (but that I stopped taking once I felt better. My very bad.) She didnt coddle me or hold my hand, but she also didnt make me feel like my life was over. I actually felt 1000 times better when I left her office; like there was a hope of curing this rather than just treating the symptoms. According to traditional doctors, this condition is chronic and I would need meds for the rest of my life. Having done my own research and now that I have a second opinion, I see that I will need three to six months to get my body healthy again and then maintain a healthy lifestyle from there on out. (That was part of my problem. My diet was awful and I was always burning the candle at both ends.) But I wont be a prisoner to the pharmaceutical companies for the rest of my days. If I absolutely need conventional drugs to stay alive, I will take them. But I firmly believe in pursuing other options before enslaving oneself to a traditional route of medication.

Needless to say that spending has been through the roof. I had planned to put nearly all of my check on my cc, but now it looks like I will only have a couple of hundred left to go toward it. My second job fell through, but that's okay because it was really sort of boring. With my health being a concern, I need to get more balance in my life and right now that means more sleep for starters. So not having a second job right now is fine. I was going to take two graduate courses in the fall...still considering what to do there.

The heat is beginning to ease up a bit so that is a relief. I'm sort of coasting right now financially rather than making rapid progress toward my goal of paying off the mbna in November. Recent events have used up most of my cash. I have paid everything in cash except for the gas I put in my car today so that is a good thing. I put that on the cc because it was more convenient to pay at the pump.

This too shall conclude and I am confident I will get back on track with the spending and debt reduction. I'm just happy that I had the resources available to cover everything - both cash and insurance wise.

Yesterday was a no spend day!! A friend bought the coffee and I brought all the rest from home - lunch and tea to drink at work.

Today, I ran errands at lunch and seemed to end up with items mainly for the cats.
Spending:
Bed, Bath, Beyond - $11.94 (used $5.00 coupon) Not sure I will keep this stuff. I picked it up to see how it works in the kitchen before making final decision.
Petco - $6.37 It just opened in our town and I wanted to check it out. Didnt carry the brands we use but I found a couple of things. I will probably order on-line from them. They have free shipping on purchases over $50 and $5 off. The code is right on their site. And the selection is larger.
Local Pet Store - $16.59 - stocked up on healthy treats and misc. items.

I ran errands and paid everything in cash. Sort of playing beat the bank b/c I get paid on Monday. But dont think it will be a problem as check is deposited on Sunday night. Inspite of this, it felt good to pay in cash, knowing that the cc balance was not increasing.

This weekend, I am doing a splurge and getting a massage. That's between cutting tile and painting doors w/ DH. Feeling way too lazy to think about it right now. I may be able to get a lot of it done tonight and then lounge for the rest of the weekend. DH put dinner in the crock pot this morning - baked potatoes. I'm sure he did well.

Tomorrow, more errands to run, but should be down to a minimum. I've wanted to open an account at the local credit union for a while now, but procrastination has gotten the better of me. Not sure what is up with that. I'm afraid its going to be a huge hassle. I also want to open an ING. I've got the invite; but havent had the time to actually do it. Just need to get with it. Lacking motivation in general....

I've got money to cover my needs, so I'm not desparately waiting. But I want the money to come in so I can put down a huge chunk on the cc. And the days are moving by so slowly.....

Today is a no spend day. I skipped the coffee and brought both lunch and drink from home. That is where I usually spend. Had lunch in the park with friends. We're all sort of in the same boat - waiting for payday, bringing the interesting items in for lunch. I thought about suggesting an entree swap, but reconsidered.

Tonight should be quiet - at home, BLT's for dinner, DH working while I take care of dinner and cleaning. More of the same routine.

So, its Monday again. This weekend was a pretty relaxing one. I tore DH away from house remodeling and we did fun things. We used our annual pass for the state parks and had a picnic at the base of the mountains near town. We really need to do that more often. We also went to see Millions - its a British film and I would recommend it. Good change of pace from most of the stuff that's out there these days.

Spening was so-so. I didnt track it as closely as I should have, but would guess I spent about $60 on clothes. It was a tax free weekend so stores were packed. I'm taking advantage of some of the back to school bargains and am picking up items that are very reasonably priced. Today at lunch I bought a very cute skirt at K-mart that with a little help wont look like its from KMart. Also time to replace all the dainty underthings, which will be done in stages. Nothing really fits now that I've lost weight. The clothes are wearing me instead of the other way around.

Work is going well, though its so slow right now. We are undergoing some major changes on several levels; most of which are needed; some are just empire building. The end result is that the changes are vast and communication is minimal. This causes a lot of people to be stressed about uncertainty when they really dont need to be. Know one knows what is going on, plain and simple. I feel the stress sometimes too. I keep working toward my goal of paying everything off. That way if something unforseen happens, at least the burden will be lighter. I probably have nothing to worry about. I'm just waiting for payday - the 15th...so far away....

And we dont be paid until the 15th - a Monday no less.

For lunch, I used another b1g1 free for salad at Sonic. So I have lunch for tomorrow too. Here is the url for the promo. It expires at the end of the month. The salads are pretty good; your typical salad from a burger place. http://www.sonicdrivein.com/promos/salad05/olm/index.jsp
Its enough to fill me up at lunch and pretty good for dinner too.

We will probably pick one up again tonight on our way to the outdoor movie...though its not until 8:30 after the sun sets. I'm going to see how well I hold up b/c I'm already dragging.

Last night, I took care of myself and this morning I felt better. I actually woke up when the alarm went off!! I only lounged for 15 min or so. Normally I fall back to sleep for about an hour.

Spending for today:
$4.80 for two salads at Sonic; sad thing is I had to raid the husbands stash of quarters for a couple of bucks as I only had a dollar to my name. Even then, I almost didnt have enough until I found a quarter hiding in the pocket of my purse. Now that it worked out and I've had my lunch and I feel safe, I can say that I'm happy I didnt put it on the cc. That's the path of least resistance for me.

I mailed out some returns to LE this morning, so I'm waiting and watching until those credits are posted on my cc statement. My focus is on decreasing that balance....financial independence...

Overall, a very low spending day today.

Too much going on for my little head to contain. I'll try to be linear.

First, I've figured out why I get sinus infections on a regular basis and am going to do all the at home/holistic stuff I can, i.e. vitamins, no sugar, nasal rinse, etc. to make it better. If this line of defense fails I know a good naturopath that I can make an appt to see. I will go the traditional route as an absolute last resort because they just prescribe antibiotics. If this is a fungal thing, antibiotics only make it worse by killing off the beneficial bacteria that supports the immune system. I think that's how I got into this situation in the first place - way too many antibiotics.

I took they afternoon off b/c my world is still spinning. And I ran some errands that I had planned to run over the weekend.

Spending for today:

Cash:
WalMart $26.40
Walgreens $8.97 (saved $5.60; mascara was 40% off; this is cheaper than WalMart)
Total cash: $35.37

CC: (I ran out of cash at this point)
$16.03 walgreens
($9.08) jcp return
$25.19 bradley petrol - gas is $2.20/gal
Total CC: $32.14

Total total $67.51
Not bad. It feels like I did a lot more running around than $68 worth.

Now I need to place an order on-line for tea and other vitamins. The hardest part about it is getting all the items in one order to save on shipping. After I place the order, I always think of something else to add.

The rest of the day is going to be about resting and reading and getting healthy. I am so tired of being sick.

The only catch is that i'm home sick from work and havent left the house. But none the less, no money spent today. I've spent the better part of the day on the couch either asleep or reading through my book on healing your sinuses holistically. Its called Sinus Survival. I like it because he goes into detail about the standard medical model and how antibiotics are often overused and how only the symptoms are usually treated. And then he goes into what you can do at home to improve your health. I've read it before and am now doing a refresher, because I'm obviously not doing something right.

Money - my goals lately are to use cash as much as possible, which has been pretty possible lately. I'm not spending and I've started holding about $20 out of my check for small purchases. I had a dr appt yesterday and paid the co-pay in cash. As I was handing the bills to the woman at the front desk, I thought, " My cc debt is not increasing because I am paying in cash. This is freedom." That was such a good feeling!!! I am going to remember that when I think I need those impulse buys.

I'm still going strong on the tea front as well. I've collected all sorts of hearbal and green teas when they are available at Big Lots. The cupboard is very full at the moment. Because I need to reduce - even cut out - as much sugar as I can, I'm make tea in the fridge. DH is even catching on. He usually drinks a lot of juice, which is also a lot of sugar. Water is the healthy option, but its bland after a while. So, I mixking and steeping and so far have managed to come up with winners. I'm pleased with the results because I think its better for us and its a lot cheaper than the coffees I buy at work and even the juice we make up from concentrate for DH. I've even started to bring it into work with me this week.

Not much else going on. I started to shift my thinking as I was drifting in and out of consciousness. I will become a saver. I will become a saver.....And I can actually see it happening.

No spending today. I have some returns that I still havent gotten to because I'm feeling ill.

I am making dinner tonight. Shrimp scampi with lots of fresh veggies. And a salad. I hope to have leftovers for lunch tomorrow. I really appreciate it when I can manage a routine. The big things fall into place because they have the support needed to be successful.

Hit the return and the post got posted. There are some real mouse control issues going on here...

Got coffee this morning with a friend $4.04...weak inspite of best intentions. Me, not the coffee

I'm struggling today to stay focused and motivated in the area of finances. Sort of a continuation from yesterday. So, at lunch I took a good long look at the Master Spreadsheet where I track spending. Spending on the cc's is wayyy down (inspite of this weekend) and I am still on track to pay off the mbna by November. To do this, I'm going to put all dinero from the second job toward that card. But its going to happen!!!

I've also been tracking overall debt and how the payment plan will look by the end of the year. If all goes as planned, I will start 2006 with only half the debt that I had at the beginning of 2005!! That means, I will be able to pay off all personal debt in 2006. That needs to sink in....no cc debt by 2007. This is becoming real. I'm so happy.

Then I can start on the mortgage and start loading up the retirement plans. This is where the real shift in thinking will need to happen. But I'm ready for the challenge.

Okay, I'm feeling a bit better. On track. Have a goal again. Paying off the mbna is key here. Just need to focus on that. Beyond that, the rest will all fall into place...Funny thing is that I feel a bit wobbly about the good news. Been in debt mode for so long that such a major step toward financial independence seems odd. Can this really be happeneing to me?? Really?? Yes, will definately need to work on changing that way of thinking.

Well, this Monday has been all that I expected it to be...is it 5 yet?

I just lost my post. Went to look up order status in another e-mail which needed a browser and ny entry got wiped out. Probably a good thing. I was complaining about being in debt and needing to go to work again tomorrow. Didnt I just go there last week? Cant that be enough for a while? I really do have other areas of my life that could use a bit more time....

For the weekend, I spent on clothing...about $130 total. There were the swimming suits and then today I bought some T's in lovely colors that can probably pass on casual Friday with some jeans and cool shoes. No other spending, which is a pleasant surprise. I have some returns to make, so that will work out to my advantage as far as money goes.

DH and I went on a very cheap date on Saturday. We went for smoothies, BOGO (buy one get one) free. Then we went to sonic for salads, also bogo free. The total spent for both places was less than $9. I could not tell him often enough how happy I am that he is willing to use coupons. He pointed out that while we will not go out of his way to find or organize them, he is willing to use them. That's fine by me b/c I enjoy the thrill of the hunt and sometimes trying out new things that we normally might not do. He is at the point where he checks to see what coupons we have before renting a movie or suggesting where to go for dinner or carry out.

I'm trying to quit or significantly reduce my sugar intake. I've been a beast all weekend. Last week at work I drank coffee every day - double espresso, thank you very much. I'm probably going through caffeine withdrawl. Also, I've been drinking lots of sugary, fizzy things this summer in an effort to stay cool too. Even though I glean the discount stores for 100% juice/natural items, its still all sugar. So I've switched to sun teas, regular and herbal, and am using Stevia to sweeten them. My body isnt sure what to do just yet. My favorite so far is blueberry and spearmint. Fruity but refreshing. The transition has come at a cost. I am ready to climb the walls!! I'm edgy and unbearable. This too shall pass. And I'm going to try very hard to pass up the coffee tomorrow. This is crazy. Has not made for a pleasant weekend.....grrrrrr

The week ahead should be interesting. There are lots of outdoor events going on around town - movies and ground breaking ceremonies. I put several on the calendar and DH is excited about going. Not sure how it will go with the heat and possible crowds, but we are willing to give it a try.

Money for the week looks okay. The bills are paid and I've got some cash on hand for misc purchases. I still have some things to return so that will be to my advantage. No major purchases planned. I have a couple of items coming in the mail that I am keeping an eye on, but just more of the same.

I think I am feeling restless...the amount of energy spent on work doesnt seem to result in an equal return. The work I have been putting into paying off the debt is not yielding the desired results quickly enough. Overall things are looking much, much better than when I started in Dec/Jan; I dont want that to get lost in the shuffle. I'm just tired of it right now. Maybe its actually a very good thing. Incorporating money saving ways has become routine because I use them whenever I can. They've become a bit boring. Another thing that is different - I do not feel the urge to go shopping recreationally to alleviate this boredom. I shop when I need something, but not to just browse. Takes too much time and I'm not willing to part with my cash for things that will need to be maintained and moved around, aka clutter.

Not completely sure how to view this. I'm sure some of it is wonderful...but I'm still really bored with it. Could also be a sugar junky craving a fix that is doing the talking...not much energy to do anything drastic at the moment (like splurge shopping) so I think we will be okay. Probably just need some sleep.....

Today's deal is clothing related. I bought myself a new swimming suit - actually two of them today. The whole swimming suit search is something i despise for a variety of reasion. 1-body issues and 2- the cash outlay for something I will wear less than five times in the course of the year.

I've been lookind since May when we went on vacation. I have to confess that on our vacation I took a suit that my mother was going to give to Good Will. Yes, it had reached that point.

So, I've been browsing all the catalogs that land in our mailbox, but when I find something I like, it seems to have a $100 price tag attached. I knew there had to be a better way.

I continued the search until now, the end of the season. I got an e-mail from JCP that they were having an end of season sale. Normally most of their stuff doesnt fit me right, but I though I would look. Before this I'd been searching the Lands End site. Expensive!!! I searched on the JCP site for a while, but then realized I had no idea how the suits fit. And since I've lost about 25 pounds in the last year, I had no idea what size I would need. I convinced DH to run to the mall with me, which he seemed glad to do.

The end result was to tankini bottoms for 28.87 with a savings of 36.02. When we got home, I ordered the tops on-line for 54.53, though I didnt calculate the savings. That is two suits for $83.40 including the shipping for the on-line order. Considering that is the cost of one suit in most places, I am thrilled. Now I will no longer need to worry about being comfortable and presentable when I go out in the water.

The expereince has taught me that just like any other situation, if you know what you really want and do the leg work, you can still get what you like and not pay as much as the asking price.

Now, to keep up with the diet so they look even better by the time I go into the pool...

My cat was "helping" with the last entry. She was sitting on the mouse and somehow when I posted the entry, about half of it got truncated. I was going on about how my spending on clothes is wayyy down, but I still splurge via internet shopping from time to time. I buy more than I know I will keep, like a shirt it two sizes to see which one fits better and then return the one that didnt work. So, the amount spent is huge, or much larger than I would normally spend. I feel a pang of guilt when I see the amount of these purchases made on-line, but I dont feel as guilty when I buy locally. I'm wondering if its that on-line shopping gives you time to think about how much you are buying and then its easier to feel buyer's remorse??

Overall, things are looking so much better re money. After paying the mortgage and utilities, I am going to make a considerable payment on the mbna. I've been timing purchases to coincide with pay days, so misc things are usually paid in cash. I havent perfected this yet, but its a move in the right direction. I'm not good with budgeting the small things b/c they are usually impulse buys.

But the numbers are really starting to go down -FINALLY. Its taken six months to change the direction of the momentum, but its finally paying off. And I'm finding money in a couple of places, so that helps. I'm opening up a banking account today to put all of those finds in. Then when its a couple of hundred, I'll get a money order or something and pay on the cc.

This weekend is going to be quiet. DH would like to continue with the housing improvements. I just need to get some sleep. I think an all day pj fest is in order. Havent lounged around in a while. I will need to go to the library and get some reading. I have a fine to pay - one day late on five books.

Its a very casually paced day here and my thinking is working at the pace. The news is that the money scene is starting to show solid improvement; much less wavering back and forth. I need to embrace this change and get all my resources moving in the right direction.

...and how things they have changed. I got the numbers on how much money will be in my check on Friday. I've started writing out checks for the bills and allocating to the mbna. Of course, it doenst help that I did some shopping on-line and increased the balance on the mbna. Overall cc spending is WAY down, but I would like to freeze it at zero. I'm getting closer, so I console myself with that.

We are waiting on one more bill to come in - the electric bill - which will probably be high. So I'm holding off on paying the cc bills. Once the electric bill comes in, all the rest is going to cc's.

I'm really feeling good about my money situation lately. Slowly, but surely it is improving.

My job is also improving. I'm making connections with other people in the department and see good things coming from it. The previous issue is still lingering, but not as in my face as I had previously thought. It hasnt resolved, but I can deal. Overall, the funny thing is that right now I'm doing less work than I've ever done in my life and am looking at advancement within the year. Go figure. Its totally against my work ethic. But I'm going to be a realistic and accept that they are paying me. It's a very confused situation. I've been looking for other opportunities from time to time but very few things are open

Tuesday...not payday....hmmmm...why are we here?

The heat is stifling and it really puts a damper on my motivation. It bakes it right out of me. We are getting summer rains (the monsoon season) and now its humid on top of it all. There is no fighting it, so adapt. That means staying inside and moving more slowly in general - even at the mental level.

Monetarily, things are also moving, albeit slowly. But they are moving and that is what I am focusing on right now. I sat down with the master spreadsheet last night and indulged in some debt repayment fantasies. I included all money that is on my horizon for the next couple of weeks and entered it as payments; this includes returns that are pending, the amount I will pay off on Friday (payday), a bond that I need to cash, payment from the second job, etc. I put it all in there just to see the numbers get smaller. Now, I need to make those payments happen and have the money come in.

Its motivating to see the numbers go down so low and know that they can actually happen in the next couple of weeks. I'm getting a little bored with the just sitting back and waiting; not my style. So playing with the numbers really helps keep my interest.

Had a chat with a friend this morning. Again about getting out of the rut of debt repayment and shifting to saving and investing. I'm so used to looking at a balance and putting effort into making that balance decrease. The shift will be to watch a balance INCREASE! That will be a pleasant shift.

Money hasnt been the main thought on my mind lately. Its sort of running in the background. This is good and bad. I'm always aware of it, but if I just let it sit, its too easy for it to fall off the radar and spend with abandon. So I'm sort of keeping my fingers in the pot, but not able to stir it as much as I would like to...